A Very Subjective Guide on How to Get Your Partner Into Bikes

So there you are, you're biking, you're vibing, you're riding around and feeling the wind in your hair, in your bones at that, and before you know it, you're back on your doorstep knocking the mud off your shoes and thinking "Wow, what a ride!"

You step inside and see your partner on the couch. How was the ride, honey?

It was great! It was wild. It was wonderful. It would have been so much sweeter if you were out there, too.

This is so prevalent it's almost a trope in the cycling community. One partner is nuts about bikes, the other, well... isn't.

For the record, this blog post was inspired by The Radavist's article "How NOT to Get Your Partner Into Mountain Biking." I haven't read it yet, but below I will give my best shot at sharing some thoughts that shaped the way I approached getting my lovely wife, Lauren B, into bikes back in 2020-2021.

Biking Isn't Easy And That's Okay

Honesty is important in relationships. It's good for your partner to know biking is pretty dang hard sometimes. Hills suck - till you get fitter. Sometimes it's cold. Sometimes it's hot. Sometimes it's rainy.

Biking is hard, and it's equally rewarding. It's beautiful. A big part of the beauty is the completely-invisible-unseen-to-anyone-but-you feeling of accomplishment that washes over you upon completing a physically taxing effort. Hey, I did that! I'm a badass! (Lauren B the B stands for Badass)

You don't have to go out in -5° weather while it's snowing to call yourself a biker. But you do have to acknowledge to yourself and to your partner that bikes are hard sometimes. That's part of the beauty.

Do It Slow and With Other People

I'd recommend slow bike rides if your partner is just getting into the sport. Even if they're a fast runner or Crossfitter or Orange Theorist, start out with a ride through the park on a sunny afternoon.

Riding slow has a massive secondary benefit, especially if the bike you ride is made of carbon and your favorite outfit wear while riding it is made of stretchy material. It will be a much needed escape from the number-watching, performance-crunching tendencies that creep in when we have to cram in training hours between family and work and life. It will be blissful and refreshing to put down the power meter and pay attention to your boo riding their bike and smiling.

A quick tangent: from experience, it's awful to ride slow in spandex. If I'm going on a slow ride, you won't catch me in form-fitting attire. I recommend riding bikes in normal clothes, especially if your partner is new to the sport. Buying a $180 set of bib + jersey is not – I repeat, NOT – a prerequisite for getting on a bike and pedaling. Wear normal clothes when you do it slow together, even if you own a kit. :)

Be Consistent

A ride every once in a blue moon does not a bike-lover make. If you want your partner to get into bikes, they've got to ride more than, say, once a year. Once a month is an okay starting point. Once a week is optimal. It's your responsibility to get them out there!

Riding consistently to start has two benefits: Improvement and Comfort.

1. Improvement is guaranteed during the first few months of someone's bike riding career. It's easy to see the improvement, and that improvement is addicting – a little less so when the data points are 276 days apart.
2. Comfort is a little trickier to explain. If you'll allow me to share a short parable...

When I haven't ran in months and then go pound the pavement out of the blue, my calves hurt like the devil the next day. If I run consistently, I'm able to put in miles without too much discomfort.

Similarly, if I haven't ridden a bike in a while, my ass will hurt like the devil the next day. I haven't had more than a week off the bike in years, but my distant memories of time off the saddle are memories of discomfort in the taint region. It happens to all of us. Including your significant other, if they haven't ridden in a bit.

After a few outings, things will improve. You don't have to crush insane mileage, just be consistent. The reward? Patent leather. Not a leather saddle, although I have one of those and would recommend. I'm talking about the other part of the equation. Leather:Leather interface. Get it? Got it? Good.

Now, that might have been an entirely superfluous metaphor; surely one I'll regret publishing to the world. However, I stand by the fact that riding a well-fitted* bike regularly is the best way to reduce discomfort.

Your partner needs to understand that riding more will make them more comfortable. You must make them aware of this fact.

*Well fitted means the bike is sized appropriately to them. Riding an ill-fitting bike repeatedly will just make them hate bikes. Don't make your partner do that.

Variety

Lauren and I have gone bikepacking together, we have done credit card touring, we've ridden around town to different coffee shops, we've ridden in the cold to a doctor's appointment, we've done long road rides, mountain bike rides, snow bike rides, cyclocross, and a few other types of biking in there too that I can't think of right now.

Oh! We also rode a tandem once.

The point here: Do all kinds of bikes. New rider not keen on a 40/4000' road ride? Totally fine. Maybe downhill MTB is more their jam. Some folks LOVE cyclocross. I never really got into it, unless it's in jorts. Maybe it's touring. Maybe it's just a basket bike to the coffee shop with a good book. That's Lauren's favorite, and I love doing that kind of ride with her.

Variety is the spice of bikes. If you're able to try out different types of biking, I strongly encourage you and your partner to do so.

Who knows, they just might love it.